All of us have been guilty of agreeing to something— a favor, task, or request— when we would much rather say “no,” instead of “yes.” You might even get annoyed with yourself because you feel like you have a lack of willpower in setting your boundaries in these ways. Although we don’t believe in labels at Haven at Main Apartments, if you’re struggling with saying the word “no,” then you might very well be a people pleaser.
Social workers have deemed people-pleasing as a sign of troubled self-worth –by saying “yes,” you are hoping to be accepted and liked in return for your favor. Don’t be too hard on yourself about it, though! As humans, we all want to be liked! It helps us to establish a sense of belonging, especially in these trying times. Whether you consider your people-pleasing nature to be a method of survival or a part of your identity, the truth is that you’ll eventually burn out from it. The good news? The behavior can be changed…you’ll just have to unlearn certain patterns.
This process can take time, of course, but we’re here to help! By making small, gradual changes, you’ll soon be living at your full potential sooner than you think. Check out our tips below:
Develop Awareness- Recognize your people-pleasing tendencies, and make the conscious decision to stay aware and work towards change. Don’t be afraid to write a list of all the steps you’d normally take to people please and evaluate it – it’s okay to call yourself out a little bit! Then, take steps to unravel the behavior. This way, the next time you find yourself in a people-pleasing situation, you’ll know how to react.
Drop the Label- You’re undoubtedly mature enough to take the steps towards change for the better, so we’re certain you’ve gone so far to label yourself as a “people pleaser,” even if it was just in your own head. No matter how many times you have called yourself a people please, it’s time to drop the label, as it could negatively impact your self worth and detract from the work you’re doing to better yourself and your mental state.
Demand Self-Worth- By recognizing your behavior patterns, calling yourself out, and dropping the label, you’re already made strong strides towards higher self-worth. These preliminary steps will make way for the most important work of all: developing a deep understanding of your core values, boundaries, inner strength, and confidence you’ve had deep inside of you all along! This work is all about you, after all –just don’t forget that.
Haven at Main Apartments in Houston, Texas goes above and beyond to improve your daily lifestyle with our spacious floor plans, unparalleled amenities, and incomparable customer service. We hope that these tips will inform, educate, and ultimately provide you with a better way-of-life.